#Autism Eclipse – The Dark Side of Passing

From a very early age many of us are taught / cajoled / punished / intimidated and ordered to ‘be normal’, listen, keep still, stop fidgeting, sit up straight, be polite, accept what is expected and to believe what we are told: that ‘black is white’ and that we cannot (should not) trust our instincts, experience (interpretations of), feelings or beliefs. This is gaslighting. Probably not done to cause harm, but out of fear that we will forever be outsiders / picked on / under-valued and unsafe if we don’t conform as children and throughout life. The message is drilled in so deeply that it’s hard to start unpacking what is our authentic selves and what is (essentially) brainwashing. Particularly when not diagnosed / realised until womanhood. It’s a long, difficult but worthwhile road to self-knowledge and self-belief to understand it all and move forward…

My Autistic Dance

Hiding

A Facebook post earlier got me thinking about the effort we expend in passing as non-autistic. The lengths we go to to conform. And what that costs us.

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